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Tory Miller - 5

from Three by fo(u)r hands

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about

5

On the cusp of manhood, he ached with false nostalgia.

He felt at kin with the memories of his family, and needed none of his own. The stories told to him by his father, grandfather, and always, his aunt…these were the bustling, laughing tales of better times, when summers were not ceaseless pain and endless drought.

Once, there were seasons. Once, there was laughter in the streets. He is sure there were times of heartbreak, too…but even the darkness of his forebear’s time he elevated into a fine and rarefied thing, like the last bottle of wine his family had saved for his youngest sister’s birth. It had been fruity, bitter, never meant to be cellared or subjected to the heat of endless parching skies. The cork had slipped down, nearly all the way down the neck. But he knew he would not taste a wine again in his lifetime, and that made its vinegary, strange taste all the sweeter.

All these strange past precious things chased at him, nipped at his heels. They should have spurred him on, but instead they slowed his pace. He wasn’t far from home.

He could, he knew, turn back. He could be home before any of his family noticed that he was gone.

His walk slowed to a soft trudge. He fought the urge to look back, biting the inside of his cheek.

He tasted the sweet pressure of raw skin, almost blood, against his violent teeth. That small violence kept his heart true to its intent, and knew that he had gone too far. Even if he went back now, he would be a tainted, hollow thing. He would always chase what he had lost, what he was reaching out to become.

credits

from Three, released July 23, 2012
Tory Miller - piano
Tucker Cummings - text

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fo(u)r hands Dover, New Hampshire

Tory Miller and Andrew Cote get together sometimes to record improvised piano albums.

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