Against my better judgment, I am responding to your letters.
I should know better by now. I should refuse to respond to your indignant claims. This is what you do, what you always do. You bait me, I react, you defend, we fight.
This movement, it is as old as salt.
I close my eyes against your memory. Every night, I can hear whispers of our conversations long since past, and I screw my eyes against your voice.
I want to burn you out of me. If this is to be our cathartic purge, then let it be done.
I betrayed you, but only in my heart. I never betrayed you in my body, or my voice. I never would have done to you what you did to me. Which is foolish. Look what you did to me. Why shouldn’t I ache from what you’ve done?
A lesser woman would have made you hurt in return.
You quoted Shakespeare once, incorrectly I’d like to point out. Let me quote him now, a bit. Because measure for measure, I should have cut you as you cut me down.
Matthew, I know that neither you nor I was innocent in this. We hurt each other. There was no winner. If there was, perhaps this would be easier.
You’ve taken aquavit. I have only wine.
It clarifies my purpose, but it brings us no relief.
Anna
credits
from four,
released March 11, 2014
Music - Andrew Cote
Words - from "Ten Winter Letters" by Tucker Cummings
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